Rarely I read a description of one of Colin’s scenes that is truly moving. This one will always be numbered among my favorites. The author has a sensitivity to Leo’s pain and has transmitted that emotion to us in her writing. It took some time to locate the author and get permission to repost this marvelous entry. So, thank you to her for sharing these words.
” This image of Leo captivates me. Look how he’s staring at his port wound with such sadness. It’s as though he wonders why he has to be like this: a hybrid, unwelcome in the human world because of his unique blend of Synth-human essence; loved by his Synth family but only “practically” one of them; virtually unnoticed by his father until he became a synthetic creation. A foot in each world but not really belonging in either.
“It’s a truly existential crisis for this character; a moment of immense vulnerability, confronting who (and what) he really is. Coming to grips as he stands in that bathroom, staring at the glaring reminder of his abnormal/impossible existence, surrounded by the trappings of mundane family/childhood/human everyday life – with what he’s lost and possibly never really had but wants with all his heart. And he can’t control himself any longer – the tears and the sobs escape him.
It’s a slap in the face, in a way. We can all deny what we’re feeling and what we’re struggling with for a time; but when we find ourselves suddenly surrounded by exactly what we don’t want to think about, we are momentarily lost in a sea of emotion that demands to be experienced — just as Leo is here.
“Who knows how long he wept in that bathroom, how much time he allowed himself to grieve for the life that he knew would never be his no matter how much he wished it could be, how much effort it took him to bottle his grief again and don his mask to go back out to the living room.
“People talk about Leo as a child a lot of the time (and he does exhibit childlike & childish qualities sometimes, as do we all), but I think he’s also a strong man who puts aside his own struggles in order to keep his family safe and whole. He’s looking out for his crew the best way he knows how, being their rock & their leader & their protector — a tall order when he’s living perpetually on the edge of emotional breakdown within himself.
“Basically, Leo is my hero. And this scene affirms that for me.